As you get older, you’re going to realize a ton of things. I don’t have time for a ton, nor do you, so Thought Catalog has narrowed down the list for us.
1. You have fewer friends than you think you do.
Way fewer. Out of our hundreds of Facebook friends, dozens of acquaintances, and even the few we consider close friends, we’re lucky to have one or two real friends at any given time. Seriously. It makes sense, though: assuming a real friend is someone who genuinely and actively cares for you and your well-being, among other things, how many close relationships like that can one possibly have? Think about your friends: how many of them would drive you to the airport at 5:00 a.m.? How many of them would take you to the hospital, or visit you in it? How many of them would help you move, or help you clean your apartment before your parents visit, or help you pull out a diaphragm that’s stuck in your vagina? Moreover, how many would you actually consider asking? You’re lucky if you come up with two.
2. Your ex doesn’t miss you.
Far from it, probably. We all like to think our exes miss us in the same way we miss them, but damn, wouldn’t we be getting back together with them if that were the case? If you imagine your ex sitting miserably in front of an open window gazing out at the swirling snow, or drinking themselves to sleep in a dim dirty bedroom writing depressing poetry, or suddenly bursting into tears in a department store when what used to be “your song” comes on, you’ve just created an epic work of fiction in your head. Actually, they’re fine, thanks for asking — they’ve redecorated their apartment, taken up printmaking and started dating someone else who so far appears to lack your plethora of charming neuroses. Sorry babe.
3. Money is real.
4. Life isn’t a game show.
5. Yes, that thing in question is awful.