I was watching the tribute episode for Cory Monteith a.k.a. Finn from Glee last night. It was a pretty tough episode to watch. To see people so sad about a loved one passing away.
I have to admit, I’ve wondered what it will be like when I die. Nobody likes to see their loved ones devastated, so at one point, I decided that I don’t want people to cry over me. I mean, it would be okay for them to be shocked and sad and all that comes with a death, but I wouldn’t want them to dwell on the fact that I was gone. Ideally, I wanted them to get over my death quite effortlessly and carry on with their lives.
But then, I thought about it more. To get over my death so quickly would mean that I wasn’t doing what I want to do while I’m alive. I want to make a mark. I want to leave an impact. I want to touch people (in the not creepy way…with a few exceptions.) If I were to look back on my life after I had lived it, I would want people to think of me and think that I did something that would be considered memorable to at least a good chunk of the world, if not all of it. You can’t get over someone’s death so easily if they made that kind of a mark.
So, I change my mind. I want my loved ones, or anybody that cares and will care about me, to be devastated when I die. Because that will mean I had done something with my life that was more than just breathing air. However, with the devastation, I also wish for there to be some way to remind them that I’ll always be with them. And not in a paranormal way. Just a way that, once the sadness of my death has passed, they can think of me, and smile at the life I had lived, and the impression I left on their heart. That’s what I want.
Now, to get out of thinking about death. Here’s a cute puppy.